When Love is Clothed in Grief... The Story of Jasmine my curandero
I am drafting this short post just hours before putting my two beautiful dogs, Jasmine and Charm to rest.
Like Rei and Ki before them, Jasmine and Charm have been with me and have been a significant part of the healing love for women and men who have been coming here to work with me for past decades.
But now, it is time to let them go. Maybe even a little past time as I've had to carry Jasmine into my office these last 2 days. They are both here at my feet as I write this. Tomorrow this time, they will be crossed over. Yes, I feel grief.
And in this grieving, I am reminded of the last women's grief healing retreat I offered here at my home in Ojai.
Lives with some BIG grief came to that retreat: The loss of a child to a terrible disease; the sudden exposure of a 10 year affair and possible disease as a result; the unfinished business with a mother who had just past over; the fear of the diagnosis of cancer (again). These are biggies. Makes you wonder how any of us dare get out of bed, get involved with people, open our hearts, carry on...
...And then as I am setting these words down, I can only imagine in other parts of the world where hundreds of thousands of people are at this moment starving, hopeless, without work, without clean water, or being tortured, raped, abused, discarded as nothing at all.
No one wants to think about these realities - they leave us too vulnerable and afraid.... But I'm here today to say: please! We must look; and deeply.
I look at humanity's grief, not to convince myself that it have compassion.... but to find the thread of love that can grant me the capacity to journey with grief ("eyes wide open") when it comes to sit in my lap... and to help others do the same....
I mean grief is hard to sit with, isn't it!? It's NOT pretty. It's not OK! Grief is almost always overwhelmingly uncomfortable. It is often so overpowering that most of us will do anything to get out of it. But there is another way to be with grief... and this way makes all the difference...